A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
