In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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