i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
