get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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