He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
