This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
