Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
