Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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