She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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