I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
