what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
