How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
