I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize