mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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