There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
