Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
