there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
