id be glad to
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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