textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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