We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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