It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
