Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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