she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
