I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
