Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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