Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
