Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
