She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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