so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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