so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
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