If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
