Walk of Shame. In a state park.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
