Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
