You're a womanizer and a bitch.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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