her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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