one two three fourrrrnication!
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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