ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
