so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
