I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize