Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
