I'm really into asian looking animals
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
