So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
