Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
