Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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