I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
