I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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