Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
