mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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