Can Purell be used as lube?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
