i don't plan on having that self control this summer
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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