There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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