how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
