how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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