We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
