everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Woke up backwards on a recliner
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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