Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
