she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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