I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
