Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
