Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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